Day 1: Liquid Protein

Time: 9:45 pm / Starting Weight: 154.5 lbs / Food Intake: 1 coffee and 4 Proteins shakes

What an awful day to start this experiment. By the end of it all I wanted to do was beery myself in a bowl of pasta and gigantic bottle of wine. I will spare you the anecdotes about email wars and inflated egos. When I got home I started to tear up. The only redeeming part of the day is the mini “How I Met you Mother” marathon.

Liquid Protein diet Rules:
-- 3-4 Protein shakes per day ( I’m using Atkins and Protein Power)
-- Unlimited water
-- One coffee with half n half (this isn’t a negotiable item)
-- One Low Carb/Calorie meal

I didn’t get a chance to have my protein shake until 11am. I slammed two shakes and another one at around 5pm. The headache started around the end of the day. I decided to opt out of the gym work out because it was late and I was still a little tired. I also had a sensible dinner of – you guessed it – protein shake!

Tomorrow is going to challenging day. I have training offsite with several co-workers and a lunch outing looms. I am already thinking about the food.

The Warm-up

Detox. What a fabulous word. It brings on so much hope for the future. You just know that if you can get through that rough period, all the elements of a perfect life will fall into place. Your energy will increase; your boss will give you the much deserved raise, and let’s not forget… You look HOT! Soon you’ll be making out with Brad Pitt’s little brother watching the sunrise of the coast Ibiza. Yes just you Baby Brad, your new best friend Beyonce. Who can resist that!

And so begins my journey. With a little firefly in my glass, I’ve chosen a few popular crash diets to rid my body and my life of some unwanted toxins.

1- Liquid Protein (5 days) - Oprah inspired
2- Master Cleanse (10 days) – Everyone else inspired
3- Dating Detox (30 days) – We’ll get to that
4- South Beach Diet (2 weeks) – Sure I like Egg whites
5- Wall Street Diet (2 weeks) – It includes Booze!
6- Skinny Bitch/Vegan Diet (2 weeks) – I might die

My Stats:

Name: Samantha K.
Age: 29
Occupation: Corporate Drone – I chase paper with a strong sense of urgency.
Weight: 20 pound more than my true hot state
Martial Status: Recently single…. Yippee.
Drinker: Yes. Including Now
Smoker: Only when wasted
Food Preference: Thai, Sushi, Indian, Steak, Italian, Soul food, Bacon … Yes, I’m a girl who eats.
True Loves: Brunch on Sundays, anything to do with the beach, a really good bottle of wine, stamps in my passport, rainy afternoons, and strategic sick days.

I want to empathize; I am tempted every hour of every day. These diets will not be easy for me in any sense of the word. If I’m not being tempted by some delicious Foodie indulgence, it’s keeping myself from texting the Ex at 2am. Tomorrow start a new day. First diet: Liquid Protein Diet.